Are you socially competent? take a look..

Does the title sound so nerdy? so serious? so not me? well.. i found this old issue of panorama while at a friend's house.. i saw this article and got interested... the title was "Five Ws on Emotional Intelligence", by Rogelio de los Santos.
What EI is?
When Emotions evolved?
Where EI is in the brain?
Why EI is important?
How to Develop Emotional Intelligent ?

so i read it. hm.. it's about emotional intelligence. i started to reflect. am i emotionally intelligent? haha.. i know i've been studying, memorizing and learning a lot of stuffs.. i then started thinking.. what about my social skills? Decision making? Self control, discipline? my temper? Emotional status? what have i done bout them? have i grown? have i changed somehow? i started to think how much I have developed it all this time? am i lagging regarding that aspect? hm.. so here it goes.

What EI is?

He defined Emotions as "feeling states", "root impulses", "commotions of the soul" that shape man's decisions and action to compromise what is a complex affective human faculty.
It was said that there are two minds of man, one that thinks and one that feels.. what we normally consider the heart and mind. There are a lot of times that strong emotions can cloud our reason and so reason becomes useless. There are a lot of times. I think a lot of us can relate to this some point in our lives. We know what is right but then we resort to follow which is more comfortable in our parts or which feels much better. Preferably, there should be balance and harmony between the two. Well , in reality, the “two minds”, are only one he said. They just work differently but intertwined in a single brain.. hm.. ever heard of the amygdale? hippocampus? The limbic system?

When EI Evolved?
50,000 generations for evolution to shape emotional intelligence today. And through time, emotions contributed to the rapid rise of civilizations.. empires.. their fall and also wars. The rise is parallel to the rise of the human population from a few thousands to a now staggering 6 billion.

Where EI is in the brain

The seat of emotional intelligence- amygdala. it is almond shaped and located above the brainstem. Without it the man is said to be affectively blind- Manhid? So I guess some people have small amygdales. I think I have a big one. The amygdale is said to trigger tears. It senses fear and is the one responsible of letting our body feel and know that fear. It triggers our fight and flight response..

Why is EI important?

Moving on, it is important since in the recent decade, especially in the younger generations, there is what has been said an emotional malaise. There is a drop in emotional competence.

Manifestations of emotional competence are: (are you guilty of these?)
1. withdrawal problems-sulking, lack of energy, feeling unhappy
2. depression- having fears and worries, feeling unloved, nervous and depressed
3. attention problems- daydreaming, acting without thinking, doing poorly in schoolwork
4. aggressiveness- lying and cheating, stubbornness and moodiness, having a hot temper

It is alarming since if our youth have this much of emotional deficiencies coz it indicates a future generation which lack emotional competence, moral character and well being. They said that the worst of these indices are seen in the poorest countries? Is that true..? I think family values, love and support also have major effects in the emotional development and maturity of each individual.

You want to do something bout that EQ? well you can do more and remedy the problems
Five domains to expand EI:
1. Self awareness. Capacity to recognize our feeling that contribute to self esteem.

I say: We should always take time to listen to ourselves. The key is not to overanalyze your problems. Sometimes we still have to stop and look at the picture.

2. Managing emotions. This is tha capacity to soothe oneself, shake of rampant anxiety, gloom or irritability. To excel in managing emotions is to bounce back far more easily from life’s failures and upsets.

So do we always need others so that we’ll feel better. Do we let others fix our lives or do we fix it ourselves. It is you who know who you are. You know what you want. Well if you don’t you should. Go back to number 1 if you still don’t know. Of course it’s always nice to have friends around. But it will always go back to you. Face it.

3. Motivate oneself. This involves delaying gratification and preventing impulsiveness, getting into the flow of events for productive and creative undertakings.

One step at a time. Have a goal, have a plan and always stick to that plan. Don’t give up, don’t be scared. Unless of course you see there is a better way.


4. Recognizing emotions of others. This entails people-skill by which we get attuned to social signals to respond to the needs of others. Empathy can improve our career by way of becoming caring professionals in our field.

As a future doctor, I believe its important not just to be competent. I follow the Thomasian code. I promise to be competent, compassionate and committed. Bow! Haha
We should always try to put ourselves in the shoes of others and with that, we can understand them more.

5. Healing relationships. This makes us socially competent, girded for social effectiveness and leadership nothing short of becoming social stars.


Relationships are like plants. We should water it but not too much. It needs sunlight but too much of it can wither the plant. Just like everything else, every relationship needs tender loving care. Haha.. lalang.