who stole my magic..?

i admit im not that good in putting my feelings into words.. but as you can see.. im not so active here in my blog lately.. it reflects my mood..oh well.. id rather go out.... but i cant.. maybe after 2 days when i can wash my hair already..

i just had a hair rebond last night.. yeap..it was already night when we finished.. we started at 4pm.. i didnt expect it to be that long. my dad invited me to go to manila today.. but i told him i wouldnt be able to wash my hair for two days so im not really in the mood to go. too bad.. i just asked for pasalubong..

two days ago, i saw this book in a bookstrore.. title of the book is who stole my magic: (the smart girl's guide to surviving a breakup).. yeap! im single again.. the breakup was long overdue.. i guess we never should have been together after all.. but then it happened and so i can only be thankful for the lessons.. i chose to leave not because there is no more love.. but i believe it is for the best.. the relationship isn't going anywhere.. it doesnt feel right anymore.. we've been stuck. we have to grow..and we're better off apart. i have my share of mistakes. but that's life..add the trust issues.. haay it was really complicated. and so im here now. i want peace. im recuperating.. as i read the book, i think im on the right track to recovery.. im planning to lend the book to my friend ana.. like me, she had her heart broken as well but i believe hers was a much devastating case..hers came as a shock..caught her off guard.. i can only imagine the pain.. compared to mine which was like a chronic infection.. been slowly killing me for some time now without me knowing it..or maybe i just kept ignoring it. women are different compared to men (whats new) when it comes to recovering after a lost love. it is due to the fact that men are more practical while women are more emotional.. anyways, the goal is the same. and that is to reach full recovery!

my friends kept telling me that it was really good and they are happy that ive finally come to my senses.. all i need to do now is move one.. im on a journey.. slowly but surely, ill find my magic once again.



bought the book. thought i could read it while getting my hair done. i finished it in no time.. just 90 pages short but really packed with lessons..at the end of every chapter, the author gives the readers several smart moves that they can try themselves that may help them alleviate the pain and help them in their recovery. ill mention some of the points:

1. denial-a lot of us are guilty of this. immediately after a breakup, you'll refuse to believe that the relationship has indeed ended.. you'll expect that you two could still get back together, you'll try to wind the ex back etc etc.. sadly, a lot of girls never get the chance to overcome this stage..there are girls who pester the ex even if the latter is already in another relationship. oh well.. acceptance is the key. accept that the relationship is over. it's ok to be a wreck. it is just natural.. cry all u want until you can cry no more. talk to your family and persons closest to you.

2. dont bother asking why's and stop asking what if's- don't try to make sense of the situation coz it will only drive you nuts. asking why a person doesnt love us is like asking why the sun shines or why the wind blows. you love and that's it. you dont love because you dont. that simple.. instead of asking why you aren't good enough, ask yourself why you are better off alone.

3. sad songs, love stories-dont listen to sad, senti, emo love songs-i know you are also guilty of it. makes sense right? when you are depressed and sad, listening to every sad song over and over again would even make you more sad. you'll even think that every sad love song was especially written and composed for you. burn a cd of your favorite happy songs.. no sad songs for you.. listen to i will survive perhaps?;) i added love stories. i guess it is better not to watch love stories during these times cos it will only make you feel worse.. lol.. ive been feeling bad after watching those love stories and i kept wondering why.. may be deep inside.. i knew i was not happy.. oh well.

4. makeover-heartbreak even if we deny it or not has that effect of bruising one's ego. you'll feel that somehow you lost some spark-those things that once made you felt special, pretty, witty and funny. it is common to see some heartbroken girls having their long hairs cut really short.. whats really needed is not a drastic change but enhancement.. i had a rebond.. lol.. and im planning to go tothe gym when i can wash my hair already. i want to tighten my abs.. :p
"beauty may only be skin deep and tru beauty may lie in the soul, but it doesnt hurt to have your outsides looking good when your insides are badly bruised."

5. dont be bitter,cynical and jaded- it is normal to be angry but you shouldnt let it reside in your heart for too long. dont let it consume you. one reason-bitterness makes you look uglier.
"People will always gravitate to other people who radiates with warmth and happiness"
it is tempting to tell the whole world how evil your ex was but then it would be better if you just let the issue go if people try to ask you bout what happened. another reason for this is in order to save yourself from shame if you get back with your ex, right? what if you told the whole world how much of a two-timing liar that bastard was.. but then what if you got back together.. are you willing to deny what you said?

smart move(i like this one):

• write on a list all the things you resent about your ex and the relationship. make sure to include every lie he told and every action he never did that caused you pain. (plus everything he did not that caused you pain)
• study the list and understand what may have motivated the actions. you may come to realize that many of the things he did were not out of malice but out of fear, insensitivity or ignorance.
• accept that what happened in the past can no longer affect you unless you let it and, if possible, forgive the person for hurting you.
• finally burn the list(the dramatic part!;p). let the burning be the symbol of your release-from any pain and bitterness that the affair may have caused you(also you dont want to one day be reminded of your grief if you come across this list in some near forgotten file). as the list burns, repeat to yourself that you are free.

6. "Travel, go somewhere you've never been. you need to get away from your immediate surroundings and realize that there is a huge world out there with endless possibilities and billions of people that you've never met."-
go to a place alient to you-it could be another city, town or country. meet new people and experience new things and culture. that's another one of my plans for the summer. :) just meet and greet and have fun. meet new people. being single has a lot of advantages and learn from other people's relationships. take a step back and observe.

7. Find a new passion- it could be a new job, a new hobby or interest. put that passion into another thing instead of another person. keep yourself busy. be good at another thing. go to the gym, yoga class, cooking and baking class, photography lessons. there's a lot.. take your pick. me? ill go to the gym. i plan to focus on my studies more. :)

those are just some of the points that i got from the book. i think i would be ok to just stop there. i highly recommend it. it is a nice read.